Helping Women Get Paid to Speak | Jess Ekstrom | Mic Drop Workshop

Jess Ekstrom is the founder of Mic Drop Workshop, where she helps women land paid keynote spots and become thought leaders. She's also a keynote speaker, author, and mom of two.

Learn how Jess went from being the only woman in a speaking lineup (with an event planner who admitted "we just needed a woman") to training thousands of women worldwide to get paid to speak. In this episode, Jess talks about why in-person events are no longer optional, the power of asking "why not?" instead of "what if," and how she doesn't do it all despite what it looks like on social media.

Plus: throwing away yearbooks, the "tomorrow Jess" productivity hack, and why the question shouldn't be "what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"

Resources:

• Mic Drop Workshop: jessekstrom.com
• Podcast: Making It with Jess Ekstrom
• Book: Making It Without Losing It (out now)
• Text line: Send "HYPE" to 704-228-4973

Transcript

Kayleigh 0:04

Hey there, welcome to All Up in Your Business Podcast with me, your host, Kayleigh Bain, where we talk about the stories of all these small businesses, entrepreneurs, nonprofits, keynote speakers like the one today. And I get to tell you their story, and you actually get to hear it from them, not me. But I get to ask cool questions. So today I am here with Jess Ekstrom. Hey, hello. I am so excited. So, fun fact, I actually help produce Jess's show. We go over some fun stuff. But tell us, what is it that you do, Jess?

Jess Ekstrom 0:36

Oh, well, I I have to think about it like, what did I do today? Um, well, I'm a mom of two kiddos, a one-year-old and a three-year-old. So that is like primary job right now. But uh in terms of all up in your business, my business is called Mic Drop Workshop, where we help women land paid keynote spots, become thought leaders, seen and valued for what they know. And then I also do speaking and write books myself.

Kayleigh 1:03

I love that. That's great. And mic drop, um, go into a little bit. What is mic drop? Go a little bit more in depth with that one.

Jess Ekstrom 1:11

Well, it started when I was doing speaking myself. I was trying to raise awareness and also get money to speak for uh my first business, Headbands of Hope, that I started when I was in college. And I was speaking quite a bit and realized many times I was the only woman in the lineup. And I remember one time at an event, I like had a call with them before I was supposed to speak. And I always ask why me, what was it about me and my story? Why are you bringing me to speak? And the guy was like, I don't know who you are. We just needed a woman.

Kayleigh 1:47

Oh my gosh. We just needed someone.

Jess Ekstrom 1:50

He was like, wait, did I just teleport to the 1950s? What's going on? Um but I appreciated his honesty. He was like, Yeah, we just haven't been able to find any like women speakers. I was like, haven't been able to find any or haven't looked hard enough. But I did realize it was kind of a two-sided problem. One, you know, events not picking women, but also women not applying as much as men to speak or charging as much as men to speak. So I rented out this bottom floor of a restaurant right here in Raleigh in 2018, put up an event bright. It was like, any women that want to learn the ropes of public speaking, come on out. I'll have wine and cheese, and I'll teach you how to get paid to speak. And then people who showed up, the room was full. They're like, Can I watch this? If I'm not in Raleigh, can, you know, how do I attend? Can you do it another time? And that was what became Mic Drop Workshop. So now we've trained thousands of women all over the world to land paid keynote spots or just speak more confidently at work in their job, land TED Talks. And uh it's been honestly the honor of a lifetime. It's so cool. That is awesome. Yeah.

Kayleigh 2:55

And then so you have a big conference coming up soon. Yes. This will already be aired. This will be aired after that's happening, but tell us what's going on. Thank God.

Jess Ekstrom 3:03

I want to say something to future Jess right now after the conference.

Kayleigh 3:06

Yes. Let's talk about this manifest is that.

Jess Ekstrom 3:09

It went great. Everyone loved it. There was no lines for anything. There was no hiccups. Everything went smoothly. No one's travel was delayed. Everyone was on time. And everything just went perfectly. Great job. Okay. You did a great job. Yeah. Thank you.

Kayleigh 3:24

Great job, future jess.

Jess Ekstrom 3:26

Great job, future Jess.

Kayleigh 3:28

Oh man. So where is that at?

Jess Ekstrom 3:29

Uh it's in Indianapolis. And so uh when we were looking at our audience and you know, looking at their locations, because we have over 300,000 women that are in like the mic drop email list in our community, uh, we had a lot of Midwest, and we just found I love Raleigh, but it's it's always uh layover and it's just a tough place to get to. So Indianapolis was a perfect place for that. So it's an indie mic drop live. And uh what's also really cool about Indianapolis right now is the explosion of women in sports. I mean, of course, you have Caitlin Clark there with the fever, but there's so many other amazing things, and they're a huge house for like swimming and USA track and field. And so um just a lot of cool stuff happening there for women. So our uh keynote slash celebrity podcast guest for day two of the conference is Allison Felix, and she's the most decorated track and field athlete of all time.

Kayleigh 4:28

That's super cool.

Jess Ekstrom 4:29

Such a badass. So I'm so excited.

Kayleigh 4:31

I know nothing about Indianapolis or track and field. I mean, I ran track and field.

Jess Ekstrom 4:35

Yeah.

Kayleigh 4:35

I don't know anyone in that really, but that's really cool.

Jess Ekstrom 4:38

I mean, well, what's cool about her stories, not just the of course the medals and everything that she did as an athlete, but what she did off the field, she, you know, got pregnant and she calls it in track and field as like the kiss of death when you get pregnant. And she lost $70,000 from a sponsor. Wait a second. I know this. Yes.

Kayleigh 5:01

Yeah, I know exactly where this is going. Yes.

Jess Ekstrom 5:03

And she was like, oh hell no. Right. And so because of her, she like women in sports now have so much more protection than they ever did when they start families. Um, and it used to mean like getting pregnant was a financial risk. And it still is for women out of sports. It was a risk for me. I mean, turning down speaking opportunities, like and women having to worry about their jobs. But Alison has been a big part of protecting mothers in sports. And so I'm interested, of course, about like her Olympic journey, but I'm feeling like I'm more interested in how she used her voice even when the cost was really high, which it was.

Kayleigh 5:43

Did she do shoes or something with shoes?

Jess Ekstrom 5:45

Yeah, she has um a shoeline sache. Yeah.

Kayleigh 5:48

Yes. Um Erica, I think, got some of those shoes. Oh, yeah, they're great. That's where I heard about the story because she's like, look at these shoes. And I was like, huh? They're like they have a whole story. And then she told me the story, and I was like, oh my God. Yeah, she does that.

Jess Ekstrom 5:59

And then she also has a um uh agency called Always Alpha where they like represent athletes for deals and stuff. I mean, she's just doing the damn thing. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm super excited.

Kayleigh 6:11

Oh, that's so cool. Um so you have that whole conference. That's a two-day conference. Yes. Is this your first time doing like this big of a conference?

Jess Ekstrom 6:19

First time. I know.

Kayleigh 6:20

Are you excited, nervous, all the things?

Jess Ekstrom 6:22

Um You know, I think that it's no longer a choice. Like we have to do it. Yeah. I think for so long, you know, we started mic drop, the pandemic hit, and so virtual was great for the position we were in, which was we were early stage, we wanted to scale, but without like hosting events all over the world. We were able to do that. Now I think that in-person events are going to become just these, I hate to use the word like sacred, but just these super important pillars of life. When you think about people that you meet, it's hard to, you know, brush shoulders with someone on Zoom while you're filling your coffee. But when you're at a conference or you're at an event, there's so much opportunity to have these collision points that you don't have in life. Like rarely are you gathered by like-minded people in the same room. And so I think that with mic drop, not only do we want to teach women how to speak, but I think that putting people in the same room with same goals, similar vision is like no longer an option. It's a requirement, especially with AI. I just think that the more we digitally have like more digital reliance, the more important it is gonna have in-person opportunity.

Kayleigh 7:47

Yeah, 100%. And I know for me, because I'm super extroverted, but since the pandemic, I feel like more introvertedness is like coming in. I'm like, oh, but I like to be home and cuddly and snugly and not have to go into a group of people.

Jess Ekstrom 8:02

When that happens for you, do you say, okay, I'm just gonna do that, or do you force yourself to get out?

Kayleigh 8:08

So I I put on events. So it's like I force myself to get out by doing these events. So it makes me like still be around people. So like I do a networking event every month. And at one point I used to have 80 people go. And it was wild just to a networking event. Yeah. But it was like it was cool camaraderie. It's like a very laid-back networking. Like it's for like I created it because I couldn't find one that I liked. And I wanted something like super laid back. Like, if you want to show up like this, you could. Or you can be a little bit more business, like a little bit nicer looking, like you. Um, or if you wanted to come in a student tie, you can, or like you know, just don't come at PJs, obviously. But I wanted the laid-back vibe of a networking event that had no speaking, didn't have something where you had to sit and wait for the person to be done talking. Right.

Jess Ekstrom 8:51

Yeah.

Kayleigh 8:51

And I didn't want it to be like, oh, hey, like, what do you do? Oh, hey, here's a business card. Like, absolutely no sales card. Like, no, I don't want any of that. So I just created it because I also wanted friends too. Because I did so, I mean, I have a social media marketing business, and I literally was just like, this is the most loneliest job I think I've ever done, but I love what I do, but I just need to be around people.

Jess Ekstrom 9:10

So I just created it. You just said something that made me think of something. One, that's awesome that you created that. Two, I have a pet peeve, and it's when people give me their business card without being asked.

Kayleigh 9:22

Oh, yes.

Jess Ekstrom 9:23

And I know this might sound uh bad, but I was at an event on Saturday and you know, met a woman and she immediately was like, mm-hmm. And I'm like, I don't even know you. Who are you? You don't even know me for like all of this to say. And you it's just this what it tells me when you immediately hand me a business card without being like, oh, like we've found something to connect on. Let's go, let's further the conversation is that you're just the transactional nature of it is kind of coming through. And so I love what you're saying about kind of re you couldn't find a networking thing that you liked. And it just reminded me, I was like, oh my gosh, that was driving me crazy when people were just shoving business cards to me. And I was like, you have no idea how you can help me because we haven't talked. So let's I am all for connection, but like make it purposeful and intentional.

Kayleigh 10:16

Exactly. Yeah. And so it's just I hate that too. It's just like, oh, I guess I'll take it. But it's just like, I feel like if you have just a genuine connection and just conversation.

Jess Ekstrom 10:27

Yeah.

Kayleigh 10:28

And I forget who said it, but someone said, like, when you go to Europe or anywhere else that's not here, they're like, oh, like, hey, how's your family? How's your dog? How's your kid? How's your that? And then like us Americans are very like, oh, what do you do for it? Like like ever since this has been told to me now, that's totally shaped how I ask people when I first see them, especially at my events. Because when they come in, I can tell, I'm really good at reading people, so I can tell right away if someone's really nervous or if they're super comfortable. And so I have regulars, they make everyone else feel very comfortable. But the ones that come in that are super nervous, I'm like, hey, like I usually it's like women, I'm like, hey girl, like what's up? Like, how are you? Is this your first time here? And if they say yes, which is most likely yes, and I'm like, great, if there's like someone I can connect you with, like I I get I know what everyone does here. So if you need help, like let me know I can help you business wise. Other than that, like let's talk about the drinks they have here, let's talk about this and that. So it's like I try not to make it super awkward for them because it's gonna be awkward for everyone who's a first-time networker. And so I always get a lot of first-time networkers that come.

Jess Ekstrom 11:28

I've swapped asking people, what do you do with what's a typical Tuesday look like for you? And that gives them the opportunity to choose. They can tell me about their job, they can tell me about their kids, they can tell me about their pickleball league. But it just gives the choice and a little bit more open-ended because I agree when someone's like, What do you do? And I'm just like, and but I'm guilty of that too, because it's just especially when you're at like business-related events.

Kayleigh 11:59

Yeah, it's just it's second nature, like, I'm like, what do you do?

Jess Ekstrom 12:01

Yeah.

Kayleigh 12:01

Like it's like it just is so like it just flows out. So, because I think it took one time this happening, and then right after, like, weirdly, I heard this whole analogy of like the America versus not here. And they're like, Well, like I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure out if I want to go back out there in the workforce. And I'm like, I don't have kids, so I can't relate to the whole stay-at-home mom, but I know it's hard. Like, I can see that it's hard. And so it's just like I don't ever want to make someone feel like they're less than you know. Yeah. And I don't know if like that question does make people feel that way, but that's like the last thing I ever want to do. So it's just like reshaping how questions are asked. Yeah, for sure. And yeah. So enough about me though. Um, your so before you started headbands for like bring us back to before headbands for help. Like, what got you into doing what you're doing? What got you going to headbands, doing like take us back to like young Jess figuring it out.

Jess Ekstrom 12:55

Oh my gosh. Still figuring it out. I don't know about young. Um I think I was always just had this like insatiable curiosity around people, business. And then I now kind of can look back and connect the dots that I was always also pretty shameless. I don't know if it was just being young or just something about how I was raised or what it might be, but I just didn't feel until much later in life, like an embarrassment of what would they what if they say no, or like what could go wrong. And so I think I was always just shooting my shot. Um, whether that was like picking up the phone and calling people for jobs or internships, you know, when I was younger to starting like an eBay business when I was in middle school. It just was such a throwback. I I was slinging some packages on eBay. I mean, if anyone's watching and you still have any of your American girl dolls and you want to make some bank, eBay was aware it was at.

Kayleigh 14:04

Do you ever find polypockets, like the old school polypockets?

Jess Ekstrom 14:06

I had those. I don't think I still have them.

Kayleigh 14:08

Oh no, I sold on mine. I remember. Oh, you did? Yeah, I did. And then afterwards, like after I thought about it, I'm like, What I I had old Pokemon cards, the Nintendo, the Polypockets, all the Barbies, like vintage.

Jess Ekstrom 14:19

Remember how I don't know, maybe I I'm too old, but um did were you the Beanie Baby era? Yes.

Kayleigh 14:25

I had so many beanie.

Jess Ekstrom 14:27

Did you watch that documentary? Um, I can't remember what it was called, but it was about beanie babies and how everyone was like, this is like a retirement plan, you know, getting like eBay, eBay, beanie babies, and everyone thought they were gonna be worth more than they actually were. Right.

Kayleigh 14:44

I think I do remember that because every like everyone mentioned keeping like I think I still have a box of mine somewhere. Those are the keys because I love to be a beanie baby. Yeah. Ply Pockets, I'm like, mm, Polly, you can go.

Jess Ekstrom 14:56

Yeah, I'm like, it's fine. I also had like the Spice Girls dolls. I sold those, which probably I could have hung on to a little bit longer.

Kayleigh 15:03

Do you have anything else that like you've like hung on to that you just like?

Jess Ekstrom 15:06

No, because I am a villain when it comes to clutter. Like I, my parents, my mom is like, what is wrong with you? I've thrown away like yearbooks before because I was like, I just was awkward. I don't want to like look at it. And now I'm like, okay, that was bad. I shouldn't have done that. But I um hate holding on to things. And I know I don't know what that means about me. If you're a therapist listening to this, you could tell me. Yes. But I have just like memory boxes, things like that. It just to me, it's just stuff and clutter. Um and I've found that to be really challenging when it comes to my kids. Uh even okay, this is gonna sound really bad, but you know, my daughter's three and um she'll come home with a you know, sheet of paper from school with literally just like a line on it. Like a marker line, yep. I'm like, I made this for you. And I'm like, do I have to keep them? Like and I'll be like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. And then trash, you know. The cuter ones you can keep. Yes. Yeah, but I'm just like, this is about to be really hard uh as a parent deciding what to keep. Because it's no longer about my memories, it's about theirs. Yeah. And so I'm already kind of if anyone has any advice for me of like if you're anti-clutter, but you have kids and you want to preserve their memories, like that is my cousin through and through with my so we call my cousin's kids my nephews.

Kayleigh 16:35

Um, she has about to be five and three. And same thing, like they they'll come home, she's like, I don't want to keep this. So what she I think she still has is she got like little tote boxes with their initials on the outside. Okay. And so then they're like little file folders. And so for every year or however, she kind of like puts it in the the file per se.

Jess Ekstrom 16:55

Interesting.

Kayleigh 16:56

And then like the cute ones, obviously. Like, not the little one marker line, but like she'll put the cuter ones in the files, and then she just puts the tote like back in the in the closet.

Jess Ekstrom 17:06

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. The other thing is, you know, we have a historic home, so it's not that big. Okay. And I'm like, we just don't have the space to like have a, you know, dedicated spot for this. But as you can tell, this is this is a button for me, Kaylee.

Kayleigh 17:25

I'm the worst person to ask because I'm like, oh, let's keep this, let's keep this, but we'll keep it.

Jess Ekstrom 17:32

If there's a show call like that called The Opposite of Hoarders, that would be me. Right. Yeah, yeah.

Kayleigh 17:36

I love it.

Jess Ekstrom 17:37

TLC, you can cast me.

Kayleigh 17:39

I aspire to be that, but I am nowhere close to it. Can you see it from my desk? Yeah. My nephew drew me one thing, and I'm like, oh my god, Wesley, it's so cute. And it just sits there.

Jess Ekstrom 17:48

Yeah.

Kayleigh 17:49

It's literally like two marker lines, and I was like, wow, he thought of me.

Jess Ekstrom 17:53

See, I want to be like that. Like I remember my husband and I when we started dating, uh he we went somewhere to like the movies, maybe it was like the state fair. And like a week later, he handed me the ticket stubs from that. And I was like, Why are you gonna convince me? And he goes, I just thought you might want to keep it like for your scrapbook. Oh like, do I look like a scraping kind of girl? I look like and so that was like 13 years ago, and to this day, I'll suddenly have to go, Do I look like a scraping kind of girl? That's so funny. Yeah. So you were on eBay and we're yelling. Yes. And then um uh watched my dad start a company when I was a kid, and then uh my mom, you know, joined him in that. And then when I got to college, I interned for Makewitch. That was like the initial spark of seeing kids lose their hair, wanting to wear headbands. Uh, so I sort of had hope for every headband sold when it's given to a child with cancer. Grew that for about 10 years and then it got acquired. Um, and one of the ways I was able to grow it was through public speaking. And so that's kind of what led to speaking career slash microphone workshop, which is what I do now. Gotcha. And then the headbands, do you have those just like interim stores in the area or like how did you yeah, stores mostly online? Uh but you know, for a while we were at Colts, Alta, things like that, which was cool. That's really cool. Yeah, and everybody, you're from this area uh born in Maryland, grew up right outside of Charlotte, and then went to the state for all it. Gotcha, okay. Yeah, probably I'm like, I never want to leave, but then I go on like the ocean or I go to the mouth, like yeah. I get that because I live in all the areas, I'm like my itch back for this, and I come back here like now I like it. It's great because you have like you're in between. Yeah, you know what? It's it is great. So then my job workshop, and then your first book. What did you write that one? Chasing the bright side. Yeah, Chasing the Bright Side came out 2019, so which is funny because it's a book about optimism, came out right before probably the darkest time for a lot of people, the pandemic of 2020. Um, and that was about the story of starting Happy Ants of Hope, but really these this framework around how we can train our mind to be more optimistic about future, therefore we can create a brighter future. And uh that was yeah, it was a really cool experience to write that book and going through a traditional publisher and all the amazing things. And then now with making it without losing it, uh that comes out uh May 5th, which I think this podcast will be out. I think yeah, okay. I was trying to read it. Yeah, it's okay at making it without it. Also, she has a book right here that she can show you. Oh, yeah, um, it's super pretty Making It Without Losing It. How to stay motivated in a world where we are never done. But uh this book, you know, Chasing the Bright Side was definitely more of uh uh this is what I know, and making it without losing it was more of an exploratory book with something I struggled with, which was feeling really crappy around ambition goals because I just always felt like I'm not there, I'm not where I want to be, no matter how much I chased in my career. There was always something I hadn't accomplished yet, and I was choosing to see that as a deficit instead of just a normalized part of career ambition, pursuing your goals. Yeah. And so this book is really for anyone who struggles with the feeling of like no finish lines and never being done, because I struggled with it too. And so hopefully you can find something to help you with it. Yeah, because I feel like I'm always having a goal. Like with my um self-diagnostic ADHD, uh, I have lists on lists on lists because I'm like, I have to feel like I've accomplished something. So say I have to go. I don't know. Oh, for example, I had my cousins and I were doing like a little like decluttering thing. Like, great, I'm gonna declutter something from the bathroom. And I went to go in there to grab something, and then I saw my shampoo was almost out. I'm like, oh, I need to trash that. I started trashing it. I'm like, then I start cleaning. I was like, oh man, I need to really clean. So then I start cleaning and I get under the drawers. I was like, oh wow, I have some old things I've not seen in a little while. So that turned into me looking through everything, and then that turned into me taking the trash out. And then that took me to yeah, full-on clean. I'm like, what did I even come? There's literally a Malcolm in the Middle episode. Did you ever watch that show? I made her dad and it was like a whole episode of him like doing something and then oh, the tire, and then like my engine. And then oh, I need to go get the you know wrench. And oh yeah, yeah, and yeah, it's so real. And that is me every day. Like take doing the dishwashes. All right, I hate laundry and I hate taking the dishes out of the dishwasher. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm sorry, just throwing shit in there, but yeah, right at the throwing in, taking it and putting it away. Absolutely not so I can get done. So then I saw something that said, um just start small, just do little small things. So take the dishes and put them on the top of the counter, so then they're sitting there gonna bother you, so you have to put them away. I was like, hmm, okay, I'll try it. I did start putting them on top of the counter and it didn't start driving not something sitting there, and a second idea I put them away. And so funny, because someone I work with here, she's so funny. She's like, my wife does that, and I want to kill her because I'm like, just put it in the day. Put it away. I know when it comes to like cohabitating with someone, stuff like that. One thing that has helped me with just completing little tasks and doing them, and it might just be me, is I think about tomorrow, Jess. And I'm like, tomorrow Jess would be really happy if her gas tank was full. Yeah, you know, if she didn't have to go get gas, you know, on the way to drop Ellie off at school. Yeah. Or like tomorrow Jess would be really happy if I just finished and sent this email off instead of like saving it in drafts, having to think about it and like coming back. So it doesn't work all the time, but I think about how would this feel tomorrow? And that's helped me. That's so true. I that is a good way to go about like wanna do that tomorrow or just want to get it done. Yes, exactly. So do it for tomorrow you. Yeah, love that. So then kind of switching gears a little bit. So we talked about the mic drop workshop and all your fake things you do there because you do a lot. So, what is kind of like a hard lesson you've learned along the way of doing it all? I would say people ask me, how do you do it all? And the answer is like, yeah. I I mean, my dad is watching my side right now. My daughter is in preschool. Uh we have an amazing woman who comes over on Sundays and meal preps for the week. Um, we hire people to clean our house. My husband works for my business. I grew up in a white, very privileged home. I am white. And so I think realizing, like, when someone's like, how do you do it all? I have so much uh privilege that I can pull from that I don't do it all. And sometimes when we see people doing big things, like, how is how are they doing that? How is she doing that? One, we don't know what it actually looks like. And two, we don't know what kind of support they have. And three, like it's just really tough to compare someone who has like a completely different starting block. You know, I mean, I think about that all the time. I've never had, I was able to become an entrepreneur uh because I knew I could take the leap. And even if it didn't work out, I wouldn't be home. I would be able to go home. My parents would, you know, wrap a blanket around me and give me some soup and then go start applying for jobs. But I like getting food on the table or where I was gonna sleep has was never a question for me. And so I have been able to take big risks and big swings in my career because I've had that privilege. And so I think, you know, that's why I I invest in only minority women-owned businesses because I'm like, man, there's just um a lot I don't know and a lot that a lot steeper hills that people have to climb to get to where I am or where other people are. Uh so I think about that a lot when people ask me, like, how do I do it all? I just want to be very clear that I don't I mean, knowing when and where you can grab help from too. I think it's being like asking for that help is like another big thing. So a lot of people like don't want to ask for help. Yeah, I'm I'm very guilty of that. Like, I hate I rather die trying to do it than ask for help. But then like when you get to that point of like you're actually about to die, you're like, all right, I really need help. And then like when you do ask for you have a community usually around you that you don't really sometimes people don't even know. But sound like you have like a really good community around you. So I have a village, yeah, around me that I am so grateful for. And becoming a mom just everyone should have a village no matter what, but becoming a mom, the village became more than just um help. It became it was a lifeline. I mean, it is uh the help that I need to raise kids in a way that I want them to be like loved and supported, grow a business or just have a career. Um in modern society in America, like those two things are like two magnets. They're just polarizing, right? And we're just not built for that, which is really hard as an ambitious woman who really likes it, likes working. And I posted on LinkedIn the other day, I was just like, How are working parents doing this? I just like anyone, just tell me how are you doing it? And you know, I'm not like a huge influence around LinkedIn, but there was like 500 people that commented under it and which showed me that everyone is there's a lot of people going through what I've going through. Um but I mean, it was across the board of people saying, you know, having really tactical great advice that uh, you know, giving yourself some grace, like uh figuring out what you can delegate in the home, having uh like timed family time. But then there was a lot of people that were like or a good amount of people that are like just quit. Yeah. And uh and I, you know, of course you just stop and pause. And I'm not shaming for anyone who does quit. I think it's not quit, but like take a pause or create break. In fact, Neha Rooch who's coming on faking it. Um, she started the power pause, which is awesome. But it really, it's like, okay, well, that is an option. Let me think about that. And when I do think about it, like I love my kids and I love being a mom, and I also love working and I want to be able to do those, those things. Yeah. One of my favorite quotes of all time, and uh, I paint, right? So I would school for painting, and so I painted so many things with this quote on it because I'm obsessed with it. But it says it's from Banksy, and it says lenderets not quit. And I have reverted back to that quote so many times in my life because there's a lot of times, like I'm notorious for starting something, and I'm like, oh, never mind. AHD kicks in, it's like that super like hyperfixation, and I get bored. So when I started my business, honey gin, I was like, this is something I cannot quit because it'd be too much to me. I worked way too hard for it. I went through a lot of shit with it. I went through a lot of shit before I started it with my own personal life. So it's just like this was one thing I did not want to quit. So I when something happened, I took a pause, took a little break, um, rested per se for about six months. And I kind of like reevaluated where I want things to go, where I wanted to go, where I wanted the business to go, and I restarted it. So now I'm just doing it on the side, working on it. I mean, after hours. So, you know, a full-time job here, nine to five. And then afterwards, I'm up to like 10, 11 o'clock working on that in the podcast. Because I'm like very passionate about helping small businesses in the area, the entrepreneurs, and I'm big things in the works, but just like that whole rents like was a it wasn't a quit, which was what I told myself I didn't want to do with this business. But if I ever quit, like I think that will be very sad for me because I worked so hard for it. Yeah. I think some of the worst advice that gets floated around is what would you do if you knew you could fail? And I think the more accurate advice, because that's not realistic, is what would you still do if you knew you were going to fail? Yeah. Growing anything, starting anything, doing anything requires all these forms of failure. Some of them big, some of them small. And so the question we should be asking ourselves is then what's worth it? What's worth the pain of failure? Like, is it, you know, starting your company, your podcasts, your alms group, whatever it might be. And I know, you know, for me, with speaking or whatever I'm building, I'm like, yeah, I fail all the time. I got an email yesterday that's like, oh, it was down to you and another speaker, they want someone else. Happens all the time. And it is worth speaking to me in that career is worth the price of the failures. And so, what would you do if you knew failure wasn't habitable? And also going off of that, ever, I mean, we all know we're gonna fail, just like you just mentioned. So it's like, yes, we're gonna fail. And instead of taking it and getting down the gutters with it, like, how are you gonna like twist that and like make it a lesson? Because I can't, I can't be mad. I I'm not a mad person and don't I get mad about every like silly thing, but like I'm just not angry for a second, hold on to hatred. And so anything that's ever bad happened, I try taking up what was a learning lesson from this and bringing it to the dating world, right? My listeners are all good god, killing your dating world. I'm like, this is not where your thing is going. But like in the dating world, everyone's like, oh man, like I am so sorry. He was such a loser, he was such that they're like, it all sucked. But here's one thing I know I will not take crap, or like I won't do this, or maybe I'll look for this instead next time. So it's like I try to take anything like that, and not I'll be sad for a second, and then I get over it. Like a good software lesson I learned back in the day was 24 hour rules. So, yeah, you can be mad you guys lost the game, but 24 hours you better be over it and ready to practice. And that yeah, that's like been I'm not a huge sports person. We're just talking about for this. No, but I think your ability to not dwell is such a superpower. It's hard, but I mean what else? What are their choice exactly? Like, you're gonna sit there and be mad, yeah, okay. Like have fun with that and be over here working on yeah, the next four things did uh, I mean, obviously you listen to it because he produced the show, but um, Lindsay Shook is uh tips on like gathering data around people a little bit. Yeah, and it's she talked about like okay, someone ghosts to you or someone, you know, you're on a date and they like don't, I don't know, they're rude or something. And instead of being like, Oh gosh, how dare they this that? It's like, oh, I'm gathering the data. I have the information now that I need to decide how I want this person to be in my life, and not right mean I don't. And so I love that episode. Yeah, I loved how she started it. I should say like the motherfucking thing. Yeah, she was like, gathered other fucking. Yeah, I was like, that needs to be the title of your book. Yeah. Oh, it's like I wouldn't start like that. I feel like I'm like, this is gonna be a good one. Yeah, yeah, totally, and it was fun. So then as we kind of wrap up a little bit, so usually how I end it is you know, asking you like what's a piece of advice you would give someone wanting to go into the business, going into business. So would that be kind of a big one? Is just a piece of advice for someone going into like starting their business or starting entrepreneurship or anything like that. I would say um uh like sometimes it feels uh like you're at a fishbowl, but you're not. And people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are, which is really free. For some people, it's disappointing. I think it's really free to realize like, oh, no one like adjusted an ego, you know, and so it to me that frees up my creativity, it frees up uh it shortens the period that I feel shame around failure, uh, it makes me uh a lot more open-minded to how things could go. So if you want to start something, I would just have this underdog mindset of like, yeah, no one's watching me. Let's go shock the hell ever. And then is there a piece of advice that you've gotten along the way where you're like it's kind of like stuck with you a little bit? That's something they have given you acknowledge you, you experience yourself. My parents which I know you're about to meet my mom. My parents, they always had this, wasn't like a I don't think she would probably even realize that this was advice that she gave. Whenever I would pitch something to them, like, what if I, you know, slept in the backyard tonight, or like, what if I started a business? Or what if I did this? It was always why not? You know, it was never a like this, or what about that? It was always this why not mindset, which helped me be able to daydream down that path. And so I think I want to do that with my own kids of just like let them dream big and wherever they may, whether they go through with it or not, but like don't squash their dreams before they really take shape. Just why not? Love that. That's a good little tidbit to end on on one. Yeah, thanks for having me. Of course. And then just so everyone can know where can they all find you, listen to you, watch you, read your stuff. I'm not hard to find. I'm very available. She she's every I'm everywhere not very good. I should probably be less. Um you can listen to Making It with Jess X Trump wherever you can see podcasts. Uh, I'm also cooler on LinkedIn than I am on Instagram. And then I also send out a text every Monday with a quote or a thought for your week. So you can send the word hype to 704-228-hype 495. That's fun. Yeah, it is fun. I love it. And then by the time this episode's out, it should be you can get her book. Yes. Grab your copy and making it without losing it. Um, I encourage you to go to a local retailer and get it there. We would love that.

unknown 37:57

Awesome.

Jess Ekstrom 37:58

Well, thank you so much for coming. I'm so excited. I can ask you questions. Yeah, it's fun. But usually I don't like watch you ask all the questions. And so this is this was really fun for me. And thank you all for listening, coming in, tuning, watching, listening. However, you're consuming it. I don't know. Uh, fun fact if you're a Patreon supporter, I found out that if you are a Patreon supporter for three, five, or eight dollars, which is usually as much as your coffee, Chipotle, less than your McDonald's, all that good stuff. You can actually get a link sent to your email to listen and watch it right there, which is so cool. My mom texts, or she called me, she's like, Kaylee, did you know I'm watching your show through my email right now? What? So it was just really cute. So I have some Patreon supports, which is awesome. So that is your way of supporting locals, supporting me, helping tell the stories of these cool businesses. Other than that, yeah, do what you do best. Like, subscribe, save, share, follow all the things, and I will see you next week.